Our Story
In early July 2019, our son passed away after a 16-month battle with a rare, aggressive form of pediatric brain cancer. His name was Soren, and he left a trail of love wherever he went. Despite the intensity of his medical journey, Soren spread joy, sweetness, and a deep, mature sense of love all around.
When he was diagnosed, we were suddenly forced to ask ourselves questions we never dreamed of asking.
How do we hold fear and seek joy at the same time?
How do we keep living life while overcome by appointments and procedures?
How do we keep loving each other while things are out of control?
How do we help our kids continue to experience childhood while medical trauma is forcing undue maturity onto them?
The questions were so overwhelming.
We decided a top priority was to soak each other in.
We had full agency with that. We didn’t want the fear of an unknown outcome to overpower our love for one another. We certainly jumped into the medical journey head first and committed to doing whatever we could to save his life. And we equally resolved to remain grounded in our love for one another.
Through endless discussions about navigating this new life, we identified several key ways to remain connected. As the medical needs took control, we knew we needed to share non-medical experiences as well.
We noticed our family seemed to be at its best when connected to nature. So we hiked with Soren on our backs, dug holes, held bugs, climbed rocks, played in the mud, and bought a camper. We took “trips” to nearby campgrounds.
These shared adventures allowed us to continually return to what was most important.
We explored, sang at the top of our lungs, found play wherever we went, chased, talked, Cried, prayed, laughed (a lot), and held each other close.
We comforted one another
We spoke our love for each other freely and often.
Soren led the way.
He was generous with his love, and never missed an opportunity to tell his people that he loved them. He could rarely go more than 10 minutes without saying “I love you.” He was quick to fall over giggling, claim his place on your lap, grab your hand while asking to play, shadow his sister, sing, and cuddle.
These grounding choices changed our lives. They kept us connected. Our eyes remained open to beauty and gratitude. Our adventures strengthened Soren’s body and gave us sacred memories together.
We were on a trip to share the mountains of Colorado when Soren’s health took a final, sudden turn. He passed away 800 miles from home, just shy of his 4th birthday.
After Soren died, we were bombarded with a new set of disorienting questions.
We were never taught how to grieve. We didn’t know how to face something so painful.
How do we keep moving forward while still holding him close?
How do we remain grounded to the truths we discovered in his journey when he’s no longer with us?
How do we help his sisters through their grief while we’re grieving at the same time?
How do we hold gratitude for our time with him while still honoring the staggering pain of loss?
We settled into a long-term relationship with these and many other questions. Slowly, glimmers of clarity began to emerge. Although we didn’t have answers, we had a framework to help guide us. We discovered this framework through Soren’s cancer journey, and through the unwavering love that Soren embodied.
